Let’s be real: parenting kids in a digital age is no walk in the garden of Eden. Well, actually, I guess there are some similarities. They both include some major temptation and some half-eaten fruit, if you know what I mean. 🍎 The temptations that come with technology can be tantalizing, especially in a generation of kids that have been left to their own devices (no pun intended, of course!). So with that being said, where do we start to keep our kids from falling victim to this “forbidden fruit”? We start with parental controls; they are now your best friend!
First, I want to say I can relate to how overwhelming this whole subject can be. You set all these confusing parental controls. Then, you have the daunting task of monitoring it all. Keeping up with things like screen time, viral trends, and social media is enough to cause even the most prepared parent to freeze with uncertainty (insert deer in the headlights look here)!
Thankfully, though, there are options for putting up digital guardrails that can help protect your kiddos and keep your sanity intact. I’m here to walk through those options with you because it’s so much easier when you have a friend to lean on. Let’s start here. Say this with me; it’ll make you feel better:
Adding parental controls to your kid’s devices does not have to feel so overwhelming!
Whether you’re a natural at navigating technology or still figuring it all out, there’s hope. This guide will walk you through the process step-by-step—and in no time you will be feeling a little more peace of mind. Let’s dive right in!
Step 1: Have a clear purpose in mind.
First, you have to get your expectations right. You need to know what the purpose of parental controls is and what they can actually do or not do. Before you start tinkering around with settings, make sure you pause and take the time to think about your end goals. What are you most hopeful to accomplish?
- Setting healthy screen time boundaries?
- Blocking content that’s a little too “worldly” for your liking?
- Preventing in-app purchases from draining your credit card?
Ultimately, protection is the end goal. Parental controls are an amazing way to filter content and manage screen time, but they’re no substitute for parental supervision. Just like putting on a seatbelt in a car can’t prevent you from getting in a wreck, parental controls can’t prevent your child from encountering every possible danger. However, we can limit way more potential for injury when we wear our seatbelts than when we don’t. The point is, there are no foolproof parental controls out there. However, that doesn’t mean the ones that exist have no value. They provide our kids with an extra layer of protection (a digital seat belt, if you will).
Having a clear purpose will help you navigate all the settings and features without feeling so overwhelmed while also giving you a clear sense of direction. Again, parental controls aren’t about controlling every little detail; they’re about creating a safe and God-honoring digital space for your family.
Step 2: How to Use Built-In Parental Controls on Smartphones, Tablets, and Other Common Devices
There is good news: most devices come with built-in parental controls that are pretty user-friendly (even if technology isn’t your spiritual gift 😉). Here’s a breakdown:
1. Smartphones and Tablets
- Apple (iOS): Go to Settings > Screen Time. Here you can set things like app limits, downtime schedules, and block content that’s less than wholesome. We are going for a Philippians 4:8 approach here!
- Setting up Family Sharing on Apple allows you to add your kiddos (and each of their individual age-appropriate parental controls) to one easily accessible place that can be managed all from your phone. But be mindful that this family feature will require you to have some sort of Apple device as well.
- Personally, I use the family sharing feature for my children and absolutely love the customizable options available for each child. The best part is having the ability to manage it all from my phone instead of each of their devices. Let’s work smarter, not harder 🙌!
- Android: Head to Settings > Digital Wellbeing & Parental Controls. You can also link the device to Google’s Family Link app for even more control. In my experience, Apple’s parental controls feel a little more comprehensive and user-friendly, but Android offers similar settings nonetheless.
2. Common Streaming Services
- YouTube: Flip on Restricted Mode in the app settings or use YouTube Kids for a safer (and much more kid-focused) experience.
- Netflix, Disney+, Hulu, Prime Video: Set up a Kids profile and adjust maturity ratings in your Account Settings. Easy-peasy.
- Be mindful though; there can still be controversial content that can fall under kid-approved ratings. It’s a good idea to monitor the videos they are choosing and discuss any concerns for controversial media with them ahead of time. Most streaming services also have the option to add passwords or account PINs to user profiles that can help prevent unwanted purchases and restricted viewing.
3. Gaming Consoles
- PlayStation, Xbox, Nintendo Switch: These all have family settings to restrict playtime, block purchases, and manage online chats. A quick Google search will lead you to detailed instructions for each type of console. Once again, Google and YouTube save the day with their quick and easy how-to guides!
Step 3: Explore Third-Party Parental Control Apps
If the built-in options aren’t cutting it, there’s an app for that (several, actually). A few popular choices include:
- Bark: Think of this as your virtual watchdog for social media, texts, and emails.
- Qustodio: Great for tracking screen time, blocking content, and even pinpointing your child’s location (hello, peace of mind!).
- Circle Home Plus: Manages all the devices in your home, from tablets to smart TVs—because yes, kids can find YouTube on everything these days.
Most of these apps offer free trials, so you can give them a test drive before fully committing.
If you would like to view some other parental control apps, check out this article from Top10.com. Make sure you compare customizable options for controls, monitoring services, and device compatibility. Check out the ratings that other users have given these services as well.
Step 4: communicate regularly about Internet Safety
Communication, communication, communication! Kids are much more likely to be open to accepting boundaries IF they understand why they are there in the first place. Everyone knows a kid’s favorite question to ask is, “Why?”. As adults, we really aren’t any different, and truthfully, they shouldn’t be either. It’s important to teach our kids not to blindly follow authority. That’s how you end up dying from drinking “Kool-Aid” if you get my drift! Transparency is the key to making parental controls effective and maintaining trust with your kids. Plus, it’s a chance to impress your kids with all your tech skills—and maybe even bond over a funny reel or two! Here are some pointers:
- Make the conversation casual and informal, and bring the topic up often.
- Conversations only happen when both parties are engaged. Invite your kids to share what apps, movies, and games they and their friends are into these days. What a great opportunity to learn more about what’s going on with your kids in their world!
- Give your kids specific examples of what to look for so they can recognize any red flags.
- Teach them not to speak to strangers or even people they know without parental approval.
- Make it clear to them that you never give out personal information.
- Most importantly, make sure they know they can always come to you if they notice something that doesn’t feel or look quite right (seriously, make sure they know this!).
Teach them to think critically and ask themselves important questions like:
- What message is being conveyed here?
- Who is the target audience of the content I am consuming?
- What do I feel the Holy Spirit is leading me to do?
- How does this align with my own morals and values?
- What do God and His Word have to say about this?
- Is this sinful or a slippery slope that leads to sin?
- What potential problems could I run into here?
- Is my privacy protected?
- Is this safe?
- What value does this bring to my life?
- Is this becoming an idol in my life?
- Am I having trouble regulating my time and thoughts concerning this?
- In what ways have my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors been affected by this?
- Do I personally know the people I am communicating with, and do I have parental approval to be engaging with them?
Step 5: Monitor and Adjust as needed
While parental controls are great, like we said earlier, they are not the “end all be all.”. It’s not a “set it and forget it” solution. Monitoring your child’s digital activity is just as important as setting the boundaries, and it’s also something you should be transparent with your children about. This doesn’t mean snooping; it means being aware and involved.
Here are a few tips to get you started:
- Check their browsing history: Look over their search history or app usage occasionally to ensure there are no red flags.
- Check photo and video content: Make sure the photos they are taking aren’t inappropriate.
- Monitor contacts, texts, and call logs: It’s important to know who your kids are talking to!
- Discuss trends and challenges: Kids often encounter trends or memes that can seem harmless but often have potential for risks. Talk about the consequences of the actions or words being promoted.
- Look for private or hidden information: Hidden albums, disguised apps, or locked notes point to secrecy. There are almost no safe situations where secrets are kept by kids from their parents.
- Analyze their Screen Time: What do they spend most of their time doing on their devices?
- Balance accountability with trust: Let your kids know you’re there to guide them, not to invade their privacy.
Prayer and a little monitoring goes a long way! You do not need to obsess over this every day. Regular check-ins are a great tool for helping us create a healthy and safe digital environment for our kids.
Step 6: Test and Tweak
Once your parental controls are set, check back often to make sure everything’s working as planned. You may need to tweak a setting or two as apps update and your children mature.
PRO TIPS:
Add regular reminders to your calendar to “check in” and review settings, update apps, and have open and honest conversations about screen habits.
Change your parental control passwords occasionally and don’t forget to write them down somewhere safe—along with your kids user info and passwords. I like to use my notes app on my phone, plus you have the ability to lock notes to keep sneaky kids out!
Talk to your kids about the tech boundaries that you set for yourself. They should know that we never outgrow good accountability! My Screen Time report has a way of making me guilty about the amount of time I spend on my own devices. Set the example and exercise healthy habits yourself!
Streamline your efforts to keep your kids safe online by helping all the adults in your child’s life set up parental controls on devices you know they will be using. Grandma may not understand the importance of online safety or be familiar with the parental control features available. A unified approach always helps keep our parental goals consistent wherever they are.
Final Thoughts
Let’s face it, parenting in the tech world is a marathon, not a sprint. Staying educated and aware will help you to finish the race well. Pair the tools you have been given with prayer, open communication, and consistency, and you’ll be on your way to success.
What are you waiting for? Take on those settings with boldness and fervor like the mama bear you are! You will be glad you did, and your kids will one day thank you (definitely not anytime soon, but one day).
New to the site? Head on over to my About Me page for an official introduction. I hope you will stick around for a while and come back to visit. Bye for now!
This was super helpful information. Thank you for addressing the heart behind the monitoring and for all the practical suggestions!
I’m so glad it was helpful to you. Thank you for stopping by!