When His Faith Falters and Everything Feels Heavy
No one really prepares you for this part. When your husband is struggling spiritually—or wrestling with God in a way that spills out into everything—it’s not a private battle.
Not the marriage books.
Or the well-meaning advice.
No, not even your pastor.
He may not realize it, but his struggle is permeating everything he touches. His wife, kids, family, friends, and coworkers feel it too. When you carry heaviness inside, you can’t help but to let some of it out around you. And if we are all miserable around him, I can only imagine how he must feel.
As wives, we are called to pray and stand in the gap for our husbands. It is no call to take lightly either. Our husbands carry so much as the leaders of our homes, and the targets on their backs aren’t small. The enemy knows just who to attack to conquer and divide. But, at times, this duty to carry our husbands to the altar can begin to feel heavy and hopeless. Especially when the change seems slow to come. And let’s be honest: some days, you’re not even sure if you’re still carrying him—or just bracing for another round in the fight.
This post isn’t about the good times in marriage. It’s really about the hard stuff.
It’s the raw truth about what it takes to stay rooted and stand strong when your husband is struggling in his faith… and it’s affecting every single person around him.
1. Acknowledge the Weight Without Letting It Crush You
You weren’t meant to carry the whole load. But if you’re anything like me, you try anyway.
We are natural-born fixers. We feel the tension and we carry the heaviness that comes from his unfiltered emotions. And before long, our husband has set the temperature in our homes and we are following his lead. We all do it. We can’t help but to reciprocate the atmosphere that is projected around us. And then after a while, we begin blaming ourselves.
What if I prayed more often or consistently.
Maybe if I hadn’t said that or was willing to listen to him vent more.
Maybe if I could just get him to open up about what he is really feeling.
But here’s the truth you need to inhale like oxygen:
You didn’t cause this, and you can’t control it.
Yes, you’re affected and it’s exhausting and we do play a part as our husband’s helpmeet by lifting him up in prayer and edifying him with our words and actions.
But you are not the source of his struggle—and you are not the solution.
Feel what you need to feel. Grieve what’s been lost.
Cry. Be mad. Feel lonely. Say, “This is hard.”
Because stuffing it down doesn’t make you strong—it just makes you numb.
And numb doesn’t heal. Truth is what sets us free.
2. When Your Husband Is Struggling Spiritually, Guard Your Own Flame
When your husband is spiritually dry, disconnected, or bitter—it’s tempting to lose your own fire.
We cannot allow our husband’s negativity and lack of faith and joy to steal from us.
Now is not the time to let our flames go out, now is the time to dig in. Stand strongly and firmly in the Word of God and the hope of the Lord.
If he’s cold toward God, keep the fire burning.
When he won’t pray, hit your knees anyway.
Where he is doubting, declare truth over your home.
This isn’t spiritual performance. Instead, it’s survival.
It’s war. It is necessary for the sake of your family.
And it’s not being dramatic or extra—it’s being obedient.
There is something fierce and brave about a woman who refuses to let the darkness set the temperature of her house. When your husband is struggling spiritually, it’s time to take authority in Jesus’ Name.
3. Fight the Real Battle (Hint: It’s Not With Him)
Let’s just say it: you get tired. Tired of walking on eggshells, of trying to connect and of carrying hope alone.
So you snap. You criticize.
You try to “wake him up” with logic, guilt, or Scripture he’s not open to. But what does it ever really accomplish?
The real battle isn’t between you and him. It’s between him and what’s pulling him away from truth.
“The weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.” —2 Corinthians 10:4
Your best weapon? Prayer. Fierce, faith-soaked, tear-streaked prayer.
Not passive prayer. Not quiet wishing.
But bold declarations. Spirit-led groanings. Warfare.
Pray:
- That his heart is softened and guarded.
- For the root of his resistance is revealed and healed.
- God brings men into his life who will challenge and uplift him.
- Your home is protected from spiritual fallout.
You can’t preach someone out of a pit. But you can pray them into a breakthrough.
4. when your husband is struggling spiritually you must Set your own Boundaries Without Shame
Being his support doesn’t mean being his sponge.
You weren’t created to soak up every bit of anger, silence, frustration, or spiritual confusion he leaks into the room.
Support doesn’t mean self-sacrifice to the point of self-erasure.
You can:
- Be present without absorbing the pressure
- Listen without internalizing his every word
- Love him deeply without becoming his emotional punching bag
Let this free you:
Boundaries aren’t betrayal. They’re stewardship.
Even Jesus withdrew from the crowds. Even Jesus told people “not now.”
So why do we feel guilty for needing space to breathe?
You can say:
“I love you, but I need space right now.”
“I want to talk when we’re both calm.”
“This is a hard season, but I’m going to protect the atmosphere of our home.”
And that is holy.
That is strength.
That is wisdom.
5. Remember Your Calling—But Reclaim Your Identity
You were called to be his helper, not his handler.
Yes, God gave you to him as a partner, a prayer warrior, a safe place.
But He also gave you a purpose.
Your identity isn’t “wife of a man in spiritual crisis.”
You are still:
- A daughter of the King
- A woman with anointing
- A light in dark places
- A vessel for healing, creativity, leadership, and purpose
You don’t have to put your own growth on pause while you wait for him to get it together.
God doesn’t require your stagnation in order to restore your spouse.
Keep going.
Don’t stop showing up to your own prayer life.
Keep growing, dreaming, and moving.
And trust this: when you are fully alive, fully grounded in God, you’re not leaving him behind—you’re leading the way forward.
6. Lean Into the Promise—Not the Pressure
God sees you.
The way you cry quietly in the bathroom so the kids don’t hear.
How you hold it together until he walks out the door.
The way you pray when your own heart feels numb.
He’s not distant.
Or disappointed.
He’s not asking you to “try harder” or “carry more.”
He’s asking you to come closer.
To surrender, not strive.
You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful in prayer.
All the answers aren’t required to be anchored in Him.
You just need to be rooted.
Let your strength come from being with Him, not fixing everything for someone else.
Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone in This
If you’re holding your breath reading this—eyes blurry with tears, heart heavy with “me too”—I want you to hear me loud and clear:
You’re not alone.
You aren’t crazy, or weak, or even failing.
You’re fighting a quiet and holy battle.
And even on your hardest days, your presence, your love, and your prayers matter.
You can love him and still hold space for your own healing, you can be a prayer warrior without living in burnout, and you can stand in the gap without falling into it yourself.
One day, you may look back and whisper,
“That season almost broke me—but it built something unshakable in me, too.”
And until that day… I’m praying with you.
Cheering for you.
Believing for you.
whn your husband is struggling spiritually it can feel heavy and lonely
This space is for you.
If you’ve walked—or are walking—through this, I’d love to hear your heart.
Drop a comment. Share your story.
Or just say, “That’s me.”
Because you may feel alone—but you’re not.
We’re in this together—wife to wife, warrior to warrior.
P.S. If this post spoke to you, you may be interested in some of my other posts on marriage like: Love Isn’t Enough: 8 Practical Ways to Strengthen Your Marriage. I would love for you to check it out. Feel free to make yourself at home here.
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